Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Relationship Application

I have this problem...

Admitting it is the first step, right?
My problem is that after one failed relationship after another, my standards rise more and more as to the type of person I will even consider to date. 

My family and closest friends have told me over the years that my expectations are too high. My standards are too great. This has been such a heavy burden on my heart. 

The qualifications for those applying to fill the "boyfriend" role in my life are not earth shattering but I was starting to think that maybe they are a bit too much...

Laci's Basic Relationship Application Outline

Single female seeking single male who is a mature Christian and living a life that represents that title. 

...That's it.

I feel like the word "mature" is taken independently  rather than as meant to be- paired with the "Christian" part of that. 
I am not seeking a stuffy stick in the mud who doesn't know how to have fun because every time he opens his mouth a string of "Thou shalt not"'s flow from his holier than thou entity. 

This person needs to be able to relax and let loose and play and frankly be stupid with me. Otherwise I will drive them crazy with my child-like whims of embracing recess moments. 

The deeper meaning that that statement really embodies I found explained elsewhere  A much better description than I could ever hope to give myself even though my entire being has felt this way for years!

Christian ladies! This is the kind of relationship you should be aiming for. Christian men, not only should this be a character assessment but make sure you turn it around and that the lady of your affection would line up with this as well. 

(Disclaimer: people aren't perfect and you are doomed for a life of disappointment if you attempt to pretend that someone will be. But the individual who makes honest strides and attempts to better themselves and live by God's standards will help you grow as well and together you will be an amazingly intricate tapestry together.) 

Check out this post which is now being extended into a book for release in 2014 and see what I'm talking about:

Now you cannot even begin to fathom the big picture of this post without checking out that link so if you passed it over, 
go back and do it right :) 

I can only speak from my own opinion but this was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. The standards I have are not outrageous. Just because someone doesn't measure up to them doesn't mean that the standards themselves are flawed. Especially when this kind of living is one that is personally striven for as well. 

Christian kids- don't be afraid to keep your standards high- especially when it comes to the person you will potentially be with for the rest of your life. But a personal note as well- make sure YOU are the kind of person that your dream spouse will want to be with as well. It's a give and take, love. 

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:16-18 

Never give up, even when God's timing isn't 
lined up with your own.

 "Don’t marry someone whose leadership you can’t follow. 
Don’t marry someone who is not seeking to love you as Christ loved the church. Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ."


  1. Can someone apply more then once? ;-) lol

  2. Can someone apply more then once? ;-) lol

  3. Good Morning Lacie!

    NEVER lower your standards. I know this is going to sound like a cop-out but sometimes, when you are not looking, is when the perfect person falls into your lap.
    I can only tell you what I know from experience. I was divorced and going on tons of first dates. I didn't bother giving a second. And one of the guys at the store I was doing demos at (for a cell phone company) asked for a ride home one night. That was over 15 years ago and we've been together ever since. We've been through rough spots, times we were golden, low times, high times, bad times but mostly good times. He has days I want to hit him in the face with a rusty shovel but most of the time when I see him it's like my soul says "OH! There you are! I've been waiting my whole life for you."

    So, my advice (not that you asked for it LOL) is just take a deep breath and enjoy this adventure. He is out there and he is looking for you in the same way you are looking for him.

    1. Thank you Pixie,
      That was a numerous of kind words from obviously a wise woman.
      One day :)

  4. I think your standards are in exactly the right place. If you're looking for perfection, that's inappropriate because no one is--but you want someone who will help you and encourage you in a lifestyle of seeking to follow Christ, which definitely means that following Him must but a priority in their own lives!

    1. Thank you for that encouragement! Sometimes things make a lot of sense in our own minds but we question whether or not truth will ring as loudly in reality. Again, you have been very encouraging. :)


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